Breastfeeding is probably one of the hardest things I've done in my life. Since Aaron had been living in the NICU, it was frustrated to truly breastfeed. I started exclusively pumping 7-8 times a day to establish my milk supply. It's tough for me to make enough milk to meet Aaron's supply as I didn't get enough rest and nutritious food right after delivery; hence, we have been supplementing with formula starting in the NICU. I was discharged from the hospital 2 days after delivery, but I went back to the NICU everyday to see Aaron until we could bring him home. We rented a Medela symphony pump from the hospital for a week while waiting for the pump from Angie to arrive.
No one warned me that exclusive pumping can be that much work. Not only I have to feed Aaron every 3 hours, but I also have to pump for 30 minutes. All the bottles and pump parts are a pain to wash. The cycle seems to never end when I am done with all the pumping and cleaning, it's time to feed again. Nevertheless, I still believe all these work are worth it as long as the breastmilk is best for Aaron.
There are so many hoops to jump through with breastfeeding as we figured Aaron has acid reflux and is possibly allergic to milk proteins. The pediatrician suggested to change Aaron's formula as well as eliminate all the dairy and food that might have caused acid reflux from my diet. Okay, I thought no big deal. If I could survive without eating the food I like during pregnancy, this shouldn't be too much of a difference. Little did I know that dairy products do not only mean milk, it includes all kinds of things like cheese, yogurt, ice cream, and any products that contains whey (which is everything!). Bread, chicken powder, crackers, snacks, candies, you name it and they all contain whey. In addition, most babies are allergic to dairy are also likely to be allergic to soy and wheat. What is worst is that I also have to avoid acidic food like tomatoes, oranges, vinegar, almonds, which means I basically cannot eat anything but plain rice.
If eating a strict diet is not bad enough, sore and cracked nipples definitely can top the list. I have been having sore nipples since day 1, but they started cracking a couple weeks ago and I have no idea why. It's almost impossible for them to heal, as I have to keep pumping every 3 hours. I tried to let them air dry and put lanolin on them, but it doesn't seem to help at all. They got really bad a few days ago that I had to stop pumping and hand express the milk. It is truly a lose-lose situation because if I keep pumping then my nipples will never get time to rest and heal, but if I don't pump then I am at risk of getting mastitis. I started hand expressing the milk every 3-4 hours, as it hurts my hands after a few squeeze. I could never empty my breasts enough and they were engorged all the time. I remember one day I woke up crying because my breasts hurt so bad and milk was leaking everywhere. After hand expressing for a couple days to let my breasts rest, my supply had been significantly compromised.
I would love to be able to keep expressing milk for Aaron until at least he's 6 months old, but now I am struggling with cracked nipples again and low supply. Many people have been telling me to quit expressing milk, as Aaron takes the formula okay. It's tough to quit so soon when I am such a perfectionist that I want him to have the best. I know having a little breastmilk is still better than having none, and hopefully that would give me enough motivation to keep going despite of all the obstacles I have encountered.
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